October 2026 General Conference › Lessons › Elder Alfred Kyungu › Adults
Words That Make Peace
From “Using the Language of Peacemakers,” by Elder Alfred Kyungu · Sunday morning session, October 2026 General Conference
The big idea
Following Jesus Christ includes giving up harsh language and choosing words that bring His peace, and that change begins in the heart.
Objective
Learners will name one expression they will stop using and one peacemaking phrase they will start using this week, and will feel that the Savior can change their hearts and their words.
Before you teach
- Read Elder Kyungu’s talk, marking the two lists of expressions (paragraphs 12 and 13) and his closing invitations.
- Pray about one relationship of your own where your words could bring more peace.
- Bring paper and pens for everyone.
- Write on the board before class: Forgo. Replace.
Lesson plan
Thirty minutes in 6 parts. Times are a guide; let the Spirit and the learners set the pace.
Words we still remember
- After the opening prayer, ask everyone to think silently for 30 seconds of a sentence someone once said to them that they still remember years later. It may have been kind or it may have hurt. No one needs to share the sentence itself.
- Ask the first question below and take two or three answers.
- Explain that Elder Alfred Kyungu of the Seventy spent his whole message on this subject, in answer to an invitation President Oaks gave in April 2026.
- Without telling us the words, what does it teach you that you still remember them?
A call from the prophet
- Have someone read President Oaks’s invitation, quoted in the talk (first aligned quote).
- Read Elder Kyungu’s comment on it (first key quote).
- Discuss the questions. Let the class do the talking; you do not need to add much.
- What is the difference between treating this as a suggestion and treating it as a call to discipleship?
- Why do you think President Oaks named our families and personal relationships in particular?
Forgo and replace
- Point to the board. Elder Kyungu called it a spiritual exercise to identify the expressions we need to forgo and then replace them with words that bring peace.
- Do not read his whole list of damaging expressions aloud. Simply note that it includes phrases such as “You never listen” and “Leave me alone,” and read what he says such words do (second key quote).
- Form groups of three or four. Give each group the list of peacemaking phrases from paragraph 13 (on phones, or read it to them slowly). Each group picks the two phrases that would change the most in a home or a ward, and tells why.
- Hand out paper. Allow two quiet minutes for each person to write privately: one expression I need to forgo, and one phrase from Elder Kyungu’s list I will use in its place.
- Which of these peacemaking phrases is hardest for you to say, and why?
- When has someone’s gentle word changed the direction of a hard conversation for you?
The heart behind the words
- Divide the room in half. One half reads Matthew 12:34–37; the other reads Ephesians 4:29 and Colossians 4:6. Each half reports in one sentence what the Lord asks of our speech.
- Read Alma 24:19 together. Elder Kyungu taught that as the converted Lamanites “buried the weapons of war, for peace,” we too can bury the language of contention.
- Read the third key quote. Point out where he says the power to change our language comes from.
- Share President Uchtdorf’s sentence (second aligned quote) and ask the last question.
- If our words come from what fills our hearts, what does that suggest about where to begin?
- What did it cost the converted Lamanites to bury their weapons? What might it cost us to bury a habit of speech?
- How has drawing closer to the Savior changed the way you speak to someone?
Try it once
- Give this made-up situation: two people who love each other disagree about a decision, and voices are starting to rise.
- In pairs, each person says aloud one sentence from Elder Kyungu’s list that could be spoken next, such as “Let us slow down and talk” or “I don’t want this to divide us.”
- Ask one or two people how it felt to say the words out loud.
Invitation and promise
- Read Elder Kyungu’s three invitations from paragraph 16 (see invitations): to repent, to pray, and to use language that uplifts.
- Read the Savior’s promise in John 14:27 and Elder Kyungu’s witness that this peace is real and begins with our hearts, our choices, and our words.
- Invite each person to look again at what they wrote and choose one of the ways to act. Bear your testimony that Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace.
- Follow up: tell the class that next week you will begin by asking who used their replacement phrase and what happened.
Key passages from the talk
“It is not a simple suggestion; it is a call to discipleship as we follow Jesus Christ.”
“Such words never edify. They weaken love, diminish respect, and damage relationships.”
“let us fill our hearts with the true doctrine of Christ, which has the power to change our language and help us speak more as peacemakers today, tomorrow, and always.”
“This peace is real. It is powerful, and it begins with us—with our hearts, our choices, and our words.”
The speaker’s direct invitations
“Let us repent for the harsh language and expressions that have offended our friends, leaders, family members, or colleagues.”
“Let us pray for peaceful communication among us, regardless of the difference in our opinions.”
“Let us use the language that uplifts, edifies, comforts, and brings people together.”
Scriptures
- Matthew 12:34–37 Half the class reads it silently and reports in one sentence what the Savior teaches about where words come from and why they matter.
- Ephesians 4:29 The other half reads it with Colossians 4:6 and reports what kind of speech Paul asks of the Saints.
- Alma 24:19 Read together; ask what it cost the converted Lamanites to bury their weapons and what it might cost us to bury a habit of speech.
- John 14:27 Read aloud at the close as the Savior’s promise attached to the invitation.
Other voices that agree
“My brothers and sisters, as followers of Christ, let us follow Him by forgoing contention and by using the language and methods of peacemakers. In our families and other personal relationships, let us avoid what is harsh and hateful.”
“The closer we come to Him, the closer we will come to each other”
Three things to remember
- The prophet’s invitation to speak as a peacemaker is a call to discipleship.
- I can identify the words I need to forgo and replace them with words that bring peace.
- As I fill my heart with the doctrine of Christ, He changes my language and gives me His peace.
Ways to act this week
- Use your chosen replacement phrase at least once a day this week, starting at home.
- Go to one person your words have hurt and say, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
- Each morning, pray by name for peaceful communication with one person you disagree with.
- Before sending a message or post written in frustration, wait, reread it, and ask whether it uplifts.
Suggestions written for this lesson, not the speaker’s words.
Music
- Where Can I Turn for Peace?
- Love One Another
Adapting the lesson
- At home: do the forgo-and-replace writing as a family or couple, then post one shared replacement phrase where everyone will see it.
- Short on time: keep the opening, the forgo-and-replace segment, and the invitation and promise.
- Large class: have people talk with the person beside them instead of forming groups, and take only two reports.
This lesson is an independent study aid written for this site. It is not an official lesson of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Quotations are word for word from the official talk; paragraph numbers count the paragraphs of the talk as published at churchofjesuschrist.org, not counting headings or picture captions. The activities, questions and ideas for acting are suggestions; follow the Spirit and adapt them to those you teach.