Bury It, Replace It
From “Using the Language of Peacemakers,” by Elder Alfred Kyungu · Sunday morning session, October 2026 General Conference
The big idea
Disciples of Jesus Christ drop words that tear down and choose words that bring peace, and He can change our hearts so that those words come naturally.
Objective
Youth will rewrite a real-life harsh reply into a peacemaker’s reply and will choose one specific change to make in how they talk or text this week.
Before you teach
- Read Elder Kyungu’s talk. Copy onto separate slips these short phrases from his two lists: “You never listen.” “This is all your fault.” “Just stop talking.” “I do not care.” “Leave me alone.” “I’m sorry.” “We can work this out.” “I am here for you.” “Let us start again.” “I respect your view.” “You are not alone.” “That matters to me.” Make one set for each team.
- Write the four situations from the rewrite segment on the board or on cards.
- Bring paper and pens. Ask youth to have scriptures or phones ready for the scripture search.
- Label two spots on a table or the floor: Builds and Breaks.
Lesson plan
Thirty minutes in 6 parts. Times are a guide; let the Spirit and the learners set the pace.
Sixty-second sort
- As soon as the prayer ends, split into two or three teams and hand each a shuffled set of slips. On your signal they race to sort every slip under Builds or Breaks.
- When a team finishes, ask everyone the question below. Take quick answers.
- Tell them every phrase came from one conference talk: Elder Alfred Kyungu listed words that damage relationships and words that bring peace.
- Which one of these have you heard this week? You do not have to say who said it.
Why a prophet talked about this
- Have a youth read President Oaks’s April 2026 invitation, which Elder Kyungu quoted (first aligned quote).
- Have another read Elder Kyungu’s response (first key quote).
- Ask the questions. Accept honest answers, including disagreement, and thank them for it.
- With everything a prophet could say to the whole world, why do you think he chose how we talk to each other?
- Where is it hardest to talk like a peacemaker: at home, at school, in a game, or online? Why there?
Scripture search
- In pairs, with scriptures or phones: half the pairs take Matthew 12:34–37, the others take Ephesians 4:29.
- Each pair writes a summary of its passage in six words or fewer. Give them two minutes, then have each pair read its summary. Let the class vote for the one that says the most with the least.
- Read the second key quote. Point out that Elder Kyungu does not only say to try harder; he says the doctrine of Christ has power to change our language.
- The Savior said the mouth speaks from what fills the heart. So what is a harsh comment really telling us?
- Does this still count if I was just joking? What do these verses suggest?
Rewrite the reply
- Give each team one made-up situation: (1) a group chat starts mocking someone who is not in it; (2) someone borrows your things without asking, again; (3) a teammate blames you for a loss in front of everyone; (4) a friend strongly disagrees with you about something you care about.
- Each team writes two replies: the one that would be easy to send or say, and a peacemaker’s reply that uses at least one phrase from Elder Kyungu’s list (leave the Builds slips out for reference).
- Read the fourth key quote, then have teams act out the peacemaker’s reply in under 30 seconds each. Keep it light; laughter is fine.
- Ask the questions. Note that Elder Kyungu asks for peaceful communication regardless of differences of opinion, and that his list includes “I respect your view” and “Let us slow down and talk.” Peacemakers still say what they think; they choose how.
- Was the peacemaker’s reply weaker or stronger than the easy one? Why?
- How can you disagree with someone and still keep peace?
Bury it
- Read Alma 24:19 together. Elder Kyungu taught that as the converted Lamanites “buried the weapons of war, for peace,” we too can bury the language of contention.
- Hand out paper. In silence, each person writes one phrase, tone, or habit (spoken or typed) they want to bury, then folds the paper. No one will read it; they take it home or throw it away.
- Read Elder Kyungu’s invitation to repent (see invitations). Say gently that all of us have said things we regret, and that repentance is how the Savior helps us change. Share President Oaks’s words, which Elder Rasband quoted (second aligned quote).
One-week challenge
- Read the third key quote and the Savior’s promise in John 14:27. Elder Kyungu also taught that as we follow Jesus Christ we will feel His peace.
- Invite each person to choose one item from the ways to act and tell a partner which one.
- Bear a brief testimony that Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace and that He helps us change.
- Follow up: next week, open by asking who used a replacement phrase, where, and what happened. Send one mid-week reminder if your class has a group message.
Key passages from the talk
“It is not a simple suggestion; it is a call to discipleship as we follow Jesus Christ.”
“let us fill our hearts with the true doctrine of Christ, which has the power to change our language and help us speak more as peacemakers today, tomorrow, and always.”
“This peace is real. It is powerful, and it begins with us—with our hearts, our choices, and our words.”
“We must choose language that strengthens confidence and preserves relationships.”
The speaker’s direct invitations
“let us use words that encourage understanding and peace”
“Let us repent for the harsh language and expressions that have offended our friends, leaders, family members, or colleagues.”
“Let us pray for peaceful communication among us, regardless of the difference in our opinions.”
Scriptures
- Matthew 12:34–37 Half the pairs read it and write a summary in six words or fewer; then discuss what a harsh comment shows about the heart.
- Ephesians 4:29 The other pairs read it and write a summary in six words or fewer; compare with the Builds slips.
- Alma 24:19 Read together before the silent writing; ask what the youth could bury for peace.
- John 14:27 Read at the close as the Savior’s promise of peace.
Other voices that agree
“let us follow Him by forgoing contention and by using the language and methods of peacemakers. In our families and other personal relationships, let us avoid what is harsh and hateful.”
“Let us avoid what is harsh and hateful. Let us seek to be holy, like our Savior.”
Three things to remember
- How I talk and text is part of following Jesus Christ.
- I can bury words that tear down and replace them with words that bring peace.
- The Savior can change my heart, and my words will follow.
Ways to act this week
- Pick one phrase from the Builds pile and use it out loud every day for seven days.
- For one week, before you send a reply written while annoyed, wait one minute and reread it.
- Say or send a sincere “I’m sorry” to one person your words have hurt.
- Pray each night this week for peace with one person you often clash with.
Suggestions written for this lesson, not the speaker’s words.
Music
- Love One Another
Adapting the lesson
- At home: do the rewrite activity with situations from your own family life, chosen together, and let the youth lead the acting.
- Very small class: skip teams. Sort the slips together and write the replies as one group.
- Short on time: keep the sort, the rewrite, and the one-week challenge.
This lesson is an independent study aid written for this site. It is not an official lesson of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Quotations are word for word from the official talk; paragraph numbers count the paragraphs of the talk as published at churchofjesuschrist.org, not counting headings or picture captions. The activities, questions and ideas for acting are suggestions; follow the Spirit and adapt them to those you teach.