Keep the Friend, Keep the Truth
From “Teach Truth with Love,” by Elder Clark G. Gilbert · Sunday afternoon session, October 2026 General Conference
The big idea
Following Jesus Christ means standing for what is true and loving people at the same time, and He will help us do both.
Objective
Youth will practice answering a hard comment about their beliefs in a way that is both true and loving, and choose one of Elder Gilbert's five principles to try with a real person this week.
Before you teach
- Read Elder Clark G. Gilbert's talk, Teach Truth with Love, especially the story of his friend and the five principles.
- Write the five principles on the board: 1. Avoid overly contentious settings. 2. Find common ground. 3. Be a light. 4. Hold to truth even in our outreach. 5. Stay anchored in Jesus Christ.
- Write the four scenarios from the third segment on four slips of paper.
- Bring paper and pens. Ask youth to have scriptures or phones ready for John 8 and Moroni 7.
Lesson plan
Thirty minutes in 6 parts. Times are a guide; let the Spirit and the learners set the pace.
Pick a wall
- After an opening prayer, have everyone stand. Say: Move to the left wall if it is harder for you to speak up for what you believe. Move to the right wall if it is harder for you to stay kind when someone attacks what you believe.
- Ask one person from each wall to say why in a sentence.
- Have them sit. Read the first key quote (T36.01) and explain that Elder Gilbert, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, taught that disciples need both.
The debate he won
- Tell the story in Elder Gilbert's talk: he had a friend who had once been spiritually faithful but was now attacking the Church. Elder Gilbert was frustrated because he knew his friend knew better. Instead of considering that his friend might be hurting for reasons he could not see, he shot back an angry reply.
- Ask a youth to read the key quote from T36.08 aloud.
- Discuss the questions below in pairs for one minute, then hear two or three answers.
- Elder Gilbert said he stood for truth that day. What was missing, and what did it cost?
- What does it look like online or at school to win the argument and lose the friend?
True and loving: the reply challenge
- Point to the five principles on the board and give a ten-second summary of each from the talk. For principle 2, mention that Elder Gilbert once listened to people's concerns for nearly two hours before he invited them to stake conference, and each one accepted.
- Form four teams and give each a scenario slip: (a) In a group chat, someone mocks people who believe in God. (b) A friend who has stopped coming to church tells you none of it is real. (c) A friend says that if you really cared about people you would drop your standards. (d) A classmate keeps pushing you to argue about religion in front of others.
- Give teams three minutes to plan a response that is both true and loving, using at least one of the five principles. Remind them that sometimes the best response is to listen, or to say nothing for now.
- Each team shares its response in under a minute. The rest of the class names which principle they heard and holds up one to five fingers twice: once for how true it was, once for how loving. The goal is high on both.
- This is your check for understanding: if a response drops the truth to keep the peace, or drops kindness to make the point, ask the class how to bring the missing half back.
What Jesus did
- Read John 8:1–11 together, a few verses each. Ask half the class to watch for how the Savior showed love and the other half to watch for how He held to truth.
- Hear what each half found. Then read President Holland's words that Elder Gilbert quoted (see aligned quotes).
- Read the key quote from T36.11 about keeping covenants. Ask the questions below.
- Why do you think the Savior did both, instead of choosing one?
- Who in your life tells you the truth and you still know that person loves you? How do they do it?
Look in the mirror
- Explain that Elder Gilbert worried some listeners would see only other people's shortcomings and forget their own. Read the invitation from T36.02 (see invitations). Make clear that the words are President Nelson's, from his talk on peacemaking, and that Elder Gilbert extended the same invitation to all of us.
- Have youth open Moroni 7:45 on their phones or in their scriptures and read it silently. Elder Gilbert asked us to check ourselves against this list when we stand for truth.
- On paper, each youth writes one phrase from the verse to work on and the first name or initials of one person they want to treat that way. Papers stay private.
This week
- Read the key quote from T36.20. Point out that Elder Gilbert said some of us will need greater conviction and others greater charity.
- Invite each youth to choose one item from the act list, or write their own, and to tell a partner what they chose.
- Share Elder Gilbert's promise that the Lord will help us as we strive to teach truth with love, and add your own testimony of the Savior.
- Tell them you will open next week by asking who tried it and what happened.
Key passages from the talk
“It takes courage to stand for truth. It takes even more courage to stand for truth with love.”
“I may have won the debate in the moment, but I lost the Spirit and I failed to help my struggling friend.”
“The best way to help someone else keep their covenants is to keep your covenants.”
“For disciples of Jesus Christ, truth and love always walk together.”
The speaker’s direct invitation
“I also hope that you will look deeply into your [own] heart to see if there are shards of pride or jealousy that prevent you from becoming a peacemaker.’ I extend that same invitation to all of us today.”
Scriptures
- John 8:1–11 Read aloud in the fourth segment. Half the class looks for how the Savior showed love; half looks for how He held to truth. Elder Gilbert cites verse 11.
- Moroni 7:45 Read silently in the fifth segment. Each youth picks one phrase about charity to work on with a specific person.
- 1 John 4:19 Optional: read during the reply challenge when you describe principle 2, and ask why people listen better to someone who loved them first.
Other voices that agree
“As near as I can tell, Christ never once withheld His love from anyone, but He also never once said to anyone, ‘Because I love you, you are exempt from keeping my commandments.’”
“Let your skeptical friends see how much you love the Lord and His gospel. Surprise their doubting hearts with your believing heart!”
Three things to remember
- I do not have to choose between truth and love; Jesus Christ never did.
- Winning an argument is not the same as helping a friend.
- The Lord will help me as I try to share truth with love.
Ways to act this week
- The next time a comment about your beliefs makes you angry, wait before you answer. Pray first, and decide whether to reply, to listen, or to stay quiet for now.
- Ask a friend who sees things differently to tell you what they think and why. Listen all the way through and find one thing you agree on.
- Choose one standard you will keep quietly and cheerfully this week, so that your example is the light.
- Read Moroni 7:45 once a day and work on the phrase you wrote down.
Suggestions written for this lesson, not the speaker’s words.
Music
- Lord, I Would Follow Thee
- Do What Is Right
Adapting the lesson
- At home or with two or three youth: do the reply challenge together, taking one scenario at a time and building the response as a group.
- In a large class: make more teams and reuse the scenarios; have only four teams share and the others rate.
- If time is short: keep the story of Elder Gilbert's friend, two scenarios, and the closing choice for the week.
This lesson is an independent study aid written for this site. It is not an official lesson of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Quotations are word for word from the official talk; paragraph numbers count the paragraphs of the talk as published at churchofjesuschrist.org, not counting headings or picture captions. The activities, questions and ideas for acting are suggestions; follow the Spirit and adapt them to those you teach.