October 2026 General Conference › Lessons › Sister Tamara W. Runia › Adults

30-minute lesson · Adults · Relief Society, elders quorum, Sunday School, or home

When We Cannot Fix It

From “The Sculpting of Our Souls,” by Sister Tamara W. Runia · Saturday morning session, October 2026 General Conference

Watch the talkRead the full talk

The big idea

Because God loves us, He uses the hard things we cannot fix to shape us to become like Him, and the Savior does His deepest work when we invite Him in.

Objective

Learners will name one burden they cannot fix and choose one specific way this week to invite the Savior into it with trust instead of asking only why.

Before you teach

  • Read Sister Runia's talk, especially paragraphs 10–16 (umbrella and rock) and 36–47 (the sculpting class).
  • Bring a shoelace or piece of string tied in a tight knot.
  • Bring a slip of paper and a pencil for each person.
  • Draw a simple umbrella and a simple rock on the board before class.
  • Pray by name for class members who are carrying something heavy.

Lesson plan

Thirty minutes in 5 parts. Times are a guide; let the Spirit and the learners set the pace.

4 min0–4

Things we cannot fix

  1. Begin with prayer. Hand the knotted shoelace to someone near the front and ask them to work on it while you talk.
  2. Explain that Sister Runia said she loves fixing things: knots, stains, problems. Then, thirteen years ago, her oldest son, Ryan, left for work one Monday and died a few hours later when his heart stopped. The next day was his daughter Piper's second birthday. As the family sang and Piper looked for her dad, Sister Runia realized this was something she would not be able to fix.
  3. Give each person a slip of paper. Invite them to write, privately, one thing in their life or in the life of someone they love that they cannot fix. No one will see it. Ask them to keep it in their hand during the lesson.
Ask
  • Without sharing what you wrote: what does it feel like to face something you cannot fix?
7 min4–11

Umbrella or rock

  1. Point to the umbrella on the board. Explain that Sister Runia grew up hearing true promises about blessings for keeping the commandments, so the gospel felt like a big umbrella that would keep the rain off her. She has learned from experience that we are all going to get rained on.
  2. Read her sentence from paragraph 12 aloud (first key quote) and point to the rock.
  3. In pairs, read Helaman 5:12. Ask each pair to find two things: what the verse says will come, and what it promises.
  4. Invite two or three pairs to report, then discuss the questions as a class.
Ask
  • What changes in how we pray and how we endure when we stop expecting an umbrella and start standing on the rock?
  • When has the Savior held you steady in a storm that did not stop?
8 min11–19

From why to what

  1. Explain the setting Sister Runia described: Joseph Smith in a jail cell, pleading with God for a break from his circumstance. Have someone read D&C 122:7. Note the answer she quoted: “All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.”
  2. Have someone read 1 Nephi 11:16–17. Ask the class what Nephi knew and what he admitted he did not know.
  3. Read the second key quote (paragraph 14). Write on the board: Why? on the left, and on the right: I know that God loves me, so what...?
  4. Tell the class that at Ryan's funeral Sister Runia said she did not understand why this happened, and then added: “Not understanding is not the same as not believing.”
  5. Pair-share for three minutes on the first question below. Then read Elder Hathaway's words (aligned quote) and invite one or two to share with the class.
Ask
  • When have you had to hold on to God's love without having an answer? What helped you keep believing?
  • How is starting from God's love different from starting from why?
6 min19–25

The Master's hand

  1. Retell the story Sister Runia shared from her brother Kent. In a college sculpting class he had to sculpt a bust of himself from clay. He could not get the eyes to look lifelike. He saw the instructor helping others but wanted the piece to be his own, so he struggled alone for quite a while before he humbled himself and asked. The instructor carved so abruptly and aggressively that it startled him, digging much deeper than Kent had. Within a few minutes the eyes came to life. Kent saw that the piece was uniquely him, and yet “a master’s hand had shaped what mine could not.”
  2. In groups of three or four, read paragraphs 43–46 of the talk (from a phone or printout). Ask each group to choose the one sentence that speaks to them most and tell why.
  3. Hear briefly from each group.
Ask
  • Sister Runia said our pride gets in the way of inviting the Savior to become involved. What does that pride sound like in ordinary life?
  • What does an invitation to the Savior actually look like on a hard Tuesday?
5 min25–30

A choice right now

  1. Tell the class that the day before Ryan died he was set apart as elders quorum president and visited a neighbor whose wife and children had just left him. Ryan told him he had a big choice: he could curse God and blame Him, or turn to Him and let Him heal him.
  2. Read Sister Runia's invitation (see invitations) and her promise: “And He can fix what feels badly broken.” Read 1 John 3:2 together as the end of the story she testified of.
  3. Invite everyone to look at their slip of paper and write beneath it one specific way they will invite the Savior into that burden this week. Allow a full minute of silence.
  4. Check for understanding: ask one person to say in a sentence what it means that the gospel is the rock and not the umbrella.
  5. Bear your testimony of the Savior. Tell the class that next week you will begin by asking what they noticed when they prayed with what instead of only why.

Key passages from the talk

“The gospel isn’t the umbrella; it’s the solid rock we’re standing on during the storm—that ‘sure foundation … whereon if men build they cannot fall.’”

Sister Runia’s talk, paragraph 12

“God’s love has moved me from questions that begin with ‘why’ to reflections that begin, ‘I know that God loves me, so what is supposed to be happening here?’”

Sister Runia’s talk, paragraph 14

“Not understanding is not the same as not believing.”

Sister Runia’s talk, paragraph 20

“God is shaping us into something only He knows we can become.”

Sister Runia’s talk, paragraph 46

The speaker’s direct invitation

“Let’s choose Christ, who can heal the wounds of this world while carving out room for joy!”

Sister Runia’s talk, paragraph 32

Scriptures

  • Helaman 5:12 Read in pairs during the umbrella or rock segment. Find what the verse says will come and what it promises.
  • D&C 122:7 One person reads aloud after you describe Joseph Smith pleading in a jail cell. Ask what the Lord gave him instead of a reprieve.
  • 1 Nephi 11:16–17 Read aloud. Ask what Nephi knew and what he admitted he did not know, then connect to Sister Runia's move from why to what.
  • 1 John 3:2 Read together in the last segment as the promised end of the shaping: what we will see and what we will be.

Other voices that agree

“This grace does not remove the pain and difficulty of affliction; it is an enabling power”

Elder Hathaway · Jesus Christ Is the Great Deliverer!, paragraph 13

“Peace will come even when hoped-for outcomes do not.”

Elder Dunn · The Ninety and Ten, paragraph 21

Three things to remember

  • The gospel is not an umbrella that keeps the rain off; it is the rock I stand on in the storm.
  • I can believe without understanding, and begin my questions from God's love.
  • The Savior waits for my invitation, and His hand can shape what mine cannot.

Ways to act this week

  • Each day this week, pray about the burden on your slip of paper and ask what Heavenly Father would have you learn or become, not only why it happened.
  • Say one honest sentence in prayer that invites the Savior in, such as: I have been trying to do this alone; please help me.
  • Reread paragraphs 43–47 of the talk on one quiet evening and write down where you can already see the work of His hand.
  • Sit with someone who is carrying something that cannot be fixed. Listen; do not try to fix it.

Suggestions written for this lesson, not the speaker’s words.

Music

  • How Firm a Foundation
  • I Stand All Amazed

Adapting the lesson

  • At home with one or two adults: skip the groups. Read paragraphs 43–46 together and take turns answering the questions; write on the slips together in silence.
  • Large class: do every discussion as pair-share first, then take only two comments each time so you finish.
  • Only 15 minutes: do the first segment, the umbrella or rock segment, and the final writing.

This lesson is an independent study aid written for this site. It is not an official lesson of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Quotations are word for word from the official talk; paragraph numbers count the paragraphs of the talk as published at churchofjesuschrist.org, not counting headings or picture captions. The activities, questions and ideas for acting are suggestions; follow the Spirit and adapt them to those you teach.