October 2026 General Conference › Lessons › Elder Ronald A. Rasband › Youth

30-minute lesson · Youth · Ages 11–18: classes, quorums, or home

You Can't Change a Heart. He Can.

From “Love Like Jesus,” by Elder Ronald A. Rasband · Saturday afternoon session, October 2026 General Conference

Watch the talkRead the full talk

The big idea

When someone we care about steps away from the Savior, our part is to love them and pray for them, and Jesus Christ's part is to change hearts and bring them home.

Objective

Youth will be able to explain the difference between pushing someone and loving someone like Jesus, and will choose one person to pray for by name and reach out to this week.

Before you teach

  • Read Elder Rasband's talk, especially paragraphs T18.03, T18.08, T18.12 and T18.14–T18.21.
  • Bring paper and pens, and a timer (a phone works).
  • Write on the board: My part / His part.
  • Ask youth to bring scriptures, paper or on their phones.

Lesson plan

Thirty minutes in 6 parts. Times are a guide; let the Spirit and the learners set the pace.

3 min0–3

Sixty-second list

  1. Start right after the prayer. Split into two or three teams and give each a sheet of paper.
  2. Set a timer for sixty seconds. Teams write every way people try to get someone else to change, whether it works or not.
  3. Read paragraph T18.03 aloud. Teams score a point for every item on their list that matches Elder Rasband's: preach, cajole, argue, demand, lecture, ignore, sit them down to watch general conference, send links to talks.
  4. Ask the question below, then say that Elder Rasband spoke to everyone whose heart aches for a loved one who has turned away from the Lord. Many youth know that feeling about a friend, a brother or sister, or someone else they love.
Ask
  • Elder Rasband said these efforts can cause a greater rift. Why do you think pushing so often backfires?
5 min3–8

My part, His part

  1. Have one youth read paragraph T18.04 and another read the second key quote from T18.08.
  2. As a class, sort ideas into the two columns on the board. Under His part: change hearts, heal, pay for sins, bring them home. Under My part, leave space; you will fill it in during the next two segments.
  3. Read Elder Rasband's invitation from T18.08, and his short summary of what the Savior says to all who grieve: “I’ve got this!”
  4. Discuss the questions below honestly. It is fine if some answers are I don't know yet.
Ask
  • Is it a relief or is it frustrating that you cannot make someone else believe? Why?
  • What do you think it actually looks like to turn your worry about someone over to Jesus Christ?
8 min8–16

Two stories, two groups

  1. Divide the class in two. Group one reads Mosiah 27:14 and Alma 36:17–20 with paragraphs T18.14–T18.15. Group two reads Luke 15:11–24 with paragraphs T18.19–T18.21.
  2. Each group has four minutes to find two things: what the person who loved did, and what the Lord did. They choose a reporter.
  3. Each reporter has one minute to retell the story and give the two answers. Add what the loving person did to the My part column: prayed with much faith, kept watching, ran to meet him, had compassion.
  4. Point out a detail from each story as Elder Rasband told it: young Alma remembered what his father had taught him about Jesus Christ, and the prodigal son knew where to find love.
Ask
  • Elder Rasband said Alma's father may have prayed for years, maybe decades. What keeps a person praying that long?
  • What does it take to be the kind of friend or family member someone knows they can come back to?
6 min16–22

Love is not, love is

  1. Ask everyone to read paragraph T18.12 on their phones or from your copy and find what love is not and what love is.
  2. Raise the honest question many youth ask: if I stay close to a friend who has stopped believing, does that mean I agree with everything they do? Let them answer from T18.12, then read Elder Gilbert's sentence from the aligned quotes.
  3. Role play in pairs for two minutes. One person is a friend who says they are done with church. The other responds using only what T18.12 describes: interest in their life, a cheerful face, no lecture. Then switch.
  4. Ask two pairs what was hard about it and what felt right.
Ask
  • What is one sentence you could say to a friend that shows you care about them and not only about their choices?
5 min22–27

One person, one week

  1. Give everyone a minute of silence to think of one person they care about who is drifting or struggling. They write the initials where only they will see them.
  2. Invite them to take out their phones and draft, but not yet send, a short message to that person that is only about that person's life: a question, a memory, a good luck for something coming up. No links, no sermon.
  3. Challenge them to pray for that person by name every day for seven days and to send the message or say it in person when it feels right.
  4. Check for understanding: ask a volunteer to explain the two columns on the board to the class in fifteen seconds.
3 min27–30

Built on the rock

  1. Read Helaman 5:12 together, then tell them Elder Rasband used this verse to make a promise as an Apostle: the storm that pulls loved ones off course will have no power to drag us down if we are built on Jesus Christ.
  2. Read the last key quote from T18.18 and bear a short testimony that the Savior knows and loves the person each of them is thinking of.
  3. Tell them you will ask next week, without names, how the seven days of prayer went and what they noticed.

Key passages from the talk

“By divine design, brothers and sisters, everyone must choose for themselves to follow Jesus Christ.”

Elder Rasband’s talk, paragraph 4

“We cannot change their hearts, but He can; He is a God of miracles.”

Elder Rasband’s talk, paragraph 8

“Love is being interested in their lives, their successes, and their challenges.”

Elder Rasband’s talk, paragraph 12

“He gave His very life to bring them home, all the way home.”

Elder Rasband’s talk, paragraph 18

The speaker’s direct invitation

“I ask you to turn over to Jesus Christ your despair for those wayward souls.”

Elder Rasband’s talk, paragraph 8

Scriptures

  • Mosiah 27:14 Group one reads it and finds what the angel said about why he came; connect it to a father's prayers of faith.
  • Alma 36:17–20 Group one reads it and finds what Alma remembered, what he cried in his heart, and what he felt afterward.
  • Luke 15:11–24 Group two reads the parable and lists what the father did when he saw his son a great way off.
  • Helaman 5:12 Read together in the last segment; ask what the rock is and what the verse promises about the storm.

Other voices that agree

“For disciples of Jesus Christ, truth and love always walk together.”

Elder Gilbert · Teach Truth with Love, paragraph 20

“Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.”

President Thomas S. Monson, quoted in this talk (paragraph 24)

Three things to remember

  • Everyone has to choose for themselves to follow Jesus Christ; I cannot choose for them.
  • My part is to love, stay interested and pray. Changing hearts is the Savior's part.
  • If I am built on Jesus Christ, someone else's storm will not drag me down.

Ways to act this week

  • Pray by name for one person every day for seven days.
  • Send or say one message this week that is only about that person's life, with no lecture attached.
  • When you feel like arguing or giving up on someone, stop and say a short prayer handing that worry to the Savior.
  • Read Alma 36:17–20 once this week and notice what brought Alma back.

Suggestions written for this lesson, not the speaker’s words.

Music

  • Love One Another

Adapting the lesson

  • At home with one or two youth: skip the teams, read the two stories together, and let each person share which one they relate to more.
  • Small class: do the two stories as one group, giving half the time to each.
  • Short on time: do the sixty-second list, the My part and His part columns, and the one person, one week challenge.

This lesson is an independent study aid written for this site. It is not an official lesson of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Quotations are word for word from the official talk; paragraph numbers count the paragraphs of the talk as published at churchofjesuschrist.org, not counting headings or picture captions. The activities, questions and ideas for acting are suggestions; follow the Spirit and adapt them to those you teach.